Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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