Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
