Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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