There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Randomize
