We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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