Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
