I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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