and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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