I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
