my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
