Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
