I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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