is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Liz is crying about burritos again.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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