He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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