he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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