And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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