the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
