i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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