ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
