we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
