I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize
