Need sex. Gaining weight.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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