Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
