the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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