that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
