Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Randomize
