By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
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