I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
