party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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