He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
