Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Apparently you make a good broom.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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