Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
