Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
