We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
