I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
