we have officially lost it.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
