So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
