but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Randomize
