Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
