my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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