I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
