Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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