Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
