He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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