I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
