I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
it's like iHOP with fire
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
