Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
