And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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