Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
