let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
